Reblog: The Pontiac that was Allergic to Vanilla Ice Cream

This article originally appeared on the Plant Maintenance Resource Center’s website, on August 3rd 2009. The author is unknown.

For the engineers among us who understand that the obvious is not always the solution, and that the facts, no matter how implausible, are still the facts …

A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors:

“This is the second time I have written you, and I don’t blame youfor not answering me, because I kind of sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family of ice cream for dessert after dinner each night. But the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we’ve eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it. It’s also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem. You see, every time I buy vanilla ice cream, when I start back from the store my car won’t start. If I get any other kind of ice cream, the car starts just fine. I want you to know I’m serious about this question, no matter how silly it sounds: ‘What is there about a Pontiac that makes it not start when I get vanilla ice cream, and easy to start whenever I get any other kind?’”

When I was young, I picked up an envelope that had, in the top-right corner, NO POSTAGE NECESSARY IF MAILED IN THE UNITED STATES. I thought, “What a great idea! If only they put that on every envelope so that we don’t have to pay for mailing stuff!”

Enthralled by this new idea, I decided to write a letter to a friend. I sealed my letter inside the envelope, and in the top right corner, I attempted to copy, in my giant five-year-old handwriting those same magic words. I put it in the mailbox, excitedly awaiting a reply from my friend.

A week passed, and a letter showed up in the mail. Unfortunately, this wasn’t a reply from a friend. It was my envelope, and on the envelope was written, in blue ink: “Please attach postage!”

I sighed, and reluctantly put a stamp on it. Guess you don’t get everything for free these days.